Which is partly why for six months after flying back to the UK (вЂњFreeвЂќ was, вЂњironicallyвЂќ, the last track she and Antonoff created before the pandemic forced her home), she wrote nothing. And not to be ashamed if those thoughts come up.вЂќ Luckily, I have people I can talk to and thatвЂ™s one of the most important things for anyone вЂ“ to keep talking about it. Anorexia provides a feeling of certainty, because youвЂ™re just like, IвЂ™m going to control this. вЂњThere were moments when I was like, вЂShould I be starting to cut back on my sugar? Or should I do a cleanse?вЂ™ And that for me is just a slippery slope. I really f**king empathise with anyone who did relapse in those two years because I think it was probably the closest IвЂ™ve ever thought about it.вЂќ She says it is вЂњa miracleвЂќ that she didnвЂ™t fall back into her old patterns with food. вЂњWhen youвЂ™re sober it is unfiltered reality all day every day. Welch has been sober for eight years, but lockdown was hard. After years, she is finally comfortable in it, but the idea of the change it would undergo is one she finds terrifying. I think IвЂ™ve had a stilted emotional immaturity just through having been in addiction and eating disorders for years.вЂќ She admits she has a вЂњreally complicated relationshipвЂќ with her body. I feel like to have a child and to let that amount of love inвЂ¦ IвЂ™ve spent my life trying to run away from these big feelings. ItвЂ™s the ultimate measure of faith and of letting go of control. It seems like the bravest thing in the world to have children. I wonder what it is that makes her feel like she canвЂ™t have both вЂ“ motherhood and a career. вЂњI had this drive underneath me and I was like if these songs want to get out, I have to get them out fast, because I do have other desiresвЂ¦вЂќ вЂњYou forget the pain so quickly.вЂќ Plus, she was 33 (her вЂњresurrection yearвЂќ, as she puts it) and felt she was at once вЂњfinally growing into herself as a performerвЂќ while also increasingly aware of that all-too-familiar вЂњrumbling panic that your time to have a family might suddenly justвЂ“вЂќ, she clicks her fingers like a magician. вЂњItвЂ™s almost like an addictive cycle,вЂќ she says of her need to constantly record. The pandemic was looming when Welch started working with producer Jack Antonoff in New York, having just finished a gruelling tour for her 2018 album High As Hope. I wanted to create a visual escape-hatch into an ancient fairy tale.вЂќ вЂњI started to feel like the record she was making was very honest, very raw and modern, but also rich with otherworldly fantasy. вЂњShe is an electric genius,вЂќ de Wilde says of Welch. The photographer and director Autumn de Wilde, responsible for the albumвЂ™s artwork and WelchвЂ™s new music videos, was instrumental in creating FlorenceвЂ™s new liberated world. She was вЂњso tired of trying to prove myself to people who are never going to get itвЂќ. вЂњI feel like as a female artist you spend a lot of time screaming into the void for people to take you seriously, in a way that male artists just donвЂ™t have to do,вЂќ says Welch.

Best live performer florence welch